Mexicans Fear Influx of Americans Will Push Pickleball
Health ministry encourages abstinence to control spread of the sport
MEXICO — As U.S. citizens move to Mexico in record numbers, local residents fear the influx of Americans will result in a fanatical and unrelenting push to play the game pickleball, which has gained a fervent cult-like following among gringos in recent years.
“Pickleball is an epidemic and the threat of its spread in Mexico should not be taken lightly,” said Mexican epidemiologist Ricardo Bocanudo. “If you live in an area of Mexico that is being increasingly populated by U.S. citizens, be wary of seemingly friendly and harmless Americans encouraging you to play the sport.”
Bocanudo said the Mexicans most vulnerable to the pickleball outbreak are those interested in trying new things and that enjoy speaking English with U.S. citizens.
“It starts with a simple invitation to try out the sport on a Saturday morning followed by mimosas at brunch,” Bocanudo said. “Within months you might find yourself wearing a visor, owning multiple rackets and evangelically telling all of your friends and family about how pickleball saved your life.”
The epidemiologist added that while it’s unlikely new pickleball players in Mexico will become as insufferable as the whitexicans and mirreyes who play the game padel, picking up the sport could be a potential a first step towards douchebaggery.
“It’s a slippery slope,” Bocanudo said. “I recommend complete abstinence to the sport because if you’re not careful, you could end up using terms like kitchen or dink shot or bragging about how you ‘pickled’ someone earlier that morning.”