Mexico City Locals Pray For Earthquake to Scare Away Digital Nomads
Residents seek intervention from Tepeyóllotl, the Aztec God of Earthquakes
MEXICO CITY — Hundreds of residents gathered Wednesday night at the Parque de la Ciudadela to burn sage, light candles and pray to the Aztec God of Earthquakes—known as Tepeyóllotl—in hopes he’ll bring a mild seismic shake to frighten away the hoards of foreigners driving up food and housing prices in the capital city.
“I’m really just praying for like a 5.4-magnitude on the Richter scale,” said Renata Plomero, a 36-year-old Mexico City resident who was forced to move from the Condesa neighborhood last year when her landlord converted her apartment into an Airbnb. “Enough of a rattle to scare the living shit out of someone who’s never been in an earthquake, but not strong enough to leave life-altering emotional and psychological scars.”
At the ceremony, some attendees dressed as Tepeyóllotl—who the Aztecs envisioned as a jaguar deity—while others came to wish for any event, be it seismic or divine, to return Mexico City to pre-pandemic prices and scare away people named Kendall and Braxton.
“I don’t like earthquakes as much as the next person, but the Aztecs didn’t have a God of Inflation or God of Gentrification I can pray to,” said Beto Vasconcelos, a 25-year-old dressed in a Tepeyóllotl jaguar costume. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a decent 20-second shake with maybe like a small 5-second réplica the following day.”